Record the Good Days Too

I have a habit of only taking into account the bad and not cherishing the good when I'm in the middle of an episode.  Today, however, was a really good day.  I act like I have readers but honestly, if you've been reading the past few days I've been a depressed, lunatic, disaster basket case.  I decided last night that I wasn't going to give myself idle time to think myself into an oblivion this weekend.  I put myself on the schedule for work Sunday to help fill the weekend void, but that still left today.

I got up this morning and asked my mom if we could get pedicures.  Of course she said yes!! I haven't gotten a pedicure since last April right after I had gotten my coaching at work.  My feet definitely looked like it too.  Before we left, I texted Kim and asked if we could get dinner tonight, and she also said yes.  So obviously I spent three hours doing my hair and makeup.  I don't know what it is about sitting in the beauty room with my cat, my coffee, and my computer, but it's so relaxing.  I don't have my anxiety screaming at me, I don't have the eating disorder getting into my business, it's just me and my makeup.  The biggest problem I have in the beauty room is which foundation I'm going to wear and why more beauty vloggers haven't uploaded because I ran out of new videos to watch.

Our dinner was great too.  We got an appetizer (per my request) and I got a meal I wanted because it sounded good.  I got a salad instead of fries because I wanted it.  I skipped dessert because I wanted to.  I'm not a slave to the eating disorder today...well for the most part.  I only ate a pretzel earlier today and then dinner so it's not like I had the three meals and 1-2 snacks that a recovering ED patient should probably be consuming, but I also listened to my hunger and fullness signals and that's important too.

I weighed myself this morning. 193.  It's still not where I want to be, but the eating disorder is pretty quiet over it because I've been hovering around 195 for a while.  So two pounds is two pounds.

Look how gorgeous we are.

I literally love how my collarbones look.  I miss my cheekbone definition though.  It's still there some, but I feel like it used to be more prominent.

My mother keeps commenting on my natural highlights in my hair. I don't know what filter Kim used but they really pop in this photo.

I just took my nighttime crazy pills.  Hopefully I can talk myself into taking a shower so I can go to work tomorrow without feeling like a scrub.  Sometimes showers are really hard though.